Welcome to Bloggers Anonymous

Hi! My name is Ashlee and I'm a blog-aholic. I've had this addiction for awhile now. I hate to admit this, but I'm a blog stalker. I love to read about other people's lives, people I've never met before. I know so much about them but I have never talked to them So why do I love blogging so much? I've put some thought into this recently. This topic has come up in a few conversations and even some blogs I stalk recently. People have different reasons for blogging. Some say they use it as a journal. I don't think of mine as a journal. I agree that it's a good reason, but that's not why I blog. Some say it's a good way to keep in touch with friends and family. I also think this is a good reason. I'm able to keep up to date on who's having kids and other fun facts about their lives I would never know otherwise. Again, this is not the main reason I love blogging. The main reason I love blogging is because it's my support group.
I'm going to admit something that I don't tell many people. When I was pregnant with Emma, my first child, I wasn't very excited. I was nervous and worried most of the time. I wanted to have children. I knew I was supposed to have kids. However, I knew what I was in for. You see, I'm the oldest of eight kids. I knew how hard it was. I remember talking to my friend when she was first pregnant. She was so excited her whole pregnancy. I kept thinking, if only she knew! She had no clue how life-changing children can be. I was 16 when my youngest brother was born. I don't know that my mom knows this, but at night I would hear my brother crying so I would go down to his room and try to get him back to sleep so my mom wouldn't have to. She was up all the time and I wanted to help. I knew how hard it was on her. The good thing about being the oldest is you're more prepared and you know how to take care of a baby...or so I thought. Being a mom was a lot different than being a helpful older sister. I remember those first few months. There were a lot of ups and downs. I tried not to stress but when it's your first child you can't help but worry. Is this normal? What am I doing? Breastfeeding is hard! I need help. Luckily I didn't have postpartum depression. I did have some baby blues though. Having a baby changed everything. I loved Emma with all my heart. But I had a hard time "embracing motherhood." That's what I would tell Casey. I wanted to be one of those women that loved being a mom. It was hard for me. I missed doing my own thing. Everything revolved around my baby. Being a mom is completely selfless. You're children come before yourself. It took time for me to adjust to this new life. I'm happy to say I'm a lot closer to completely "embracing motherhood." I still have my days when I want to run away but overall I love being a mom and I realize that some days will be bad but the good definitely outweighs the bad. I feel blessed to have two wonderful children and an awesomely helpful husband.
So that's the reason I love blogging. I enjoy reading about other mom's and realizing that I'm normal. My kids are normal. Life can be hard at times. I love "real life" blogs. I don't want to read how great everything is all the time and how perfect life is. Those blogs are fake. You are all my support group. Thank you all for sharing your life with me.